Luke: “Master Yoda… is Darth Vader my father?”
Yoda: “Rest I need. Yes. Rest.”
Luke: “Yoda, I must know.”
Yoda: “Your father he is.” [pause] ”Told you, did he?”
Luke: “Yes.”
Yoda: “Unexpected this is. And unfortunate.”
Luke: “Unfortunate that I know the truth?”
Yoda: “No! Unfortunate that you rushed to face him… that incomplete was your training. That… not ready for the burden were you.”
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
Will he ever be ready for the burden? Is anyone ever ready for the burden before he or she is thrust out upon the world at the tender age of 16, 18, 22, 25, 30 or whenever the real burdens of life and survival and staking our own path and claiming our own way arrive at our emotional door? I try to keep my head in the here and now, as a good Jedi should, but sometimes my fears wander off into that dark underbrush of the future and I wonder.
- I wonder if I’m focusing on the right things to help him along his path.
- I wonder if I’m too concerned about things that won’t matter at all.
- I wonder if I’m not concerned enough about the things that will.
- I wonder if he’ll look back on our time together and wish we had done things differently.
- I wonder if he’ll look back and decide that he wouldn’t have had our lives any other way.
- I wonder what he’ll do with the decades before him.
- I wonder who he will decide to share his life with.
- I wonder if I’ll see it coming when he does decide.
The burden, the happy burden, of raising the future generation of Jedi is upon us. I wonder if I’ll ever feel ready.
I think we all just do the best we can. You can drive yourself crazy worrying. Here’s one I always drag out… “Have I spent all this time teaching decency and watching their integrity grow only to have the a-holes of the world tromp on it?”
I think you just tapped into the nightmares of every single homeschooling Mom on the planet (and a few on other planets too). All you can do is your very best. My goal is to just be flexible at all times. If something feels like it’s not working . . . let it go . . . torture is not a form of learning.
I’m not stressed out, just wondering. I do what I can and I do my best, but sometimes I just have to wonder.
Yes, don’t we all wonder about those things? And then we continue doing the best we can, and somehow everything will work out wonderfully.
I often wonder if I’m too concerned over things that don’t matter. And I desperately hope they’ll remember their childhood with happiness, not wishing to change a thing.
I’m having a HUGE case of the “wonderings” myself this week. Think it is in the water? My youngest has been going through a difficult spot, and I am second guessing everything, so we are doing something radical – - taking today off completely so I can step back and take a chill pill and get some perspective.
Thanks for sharing…
Topsytechie—That’s what I do. Sometimes we’ve just got to regroup. And Obi-mom…as usual, an excellent job of articulating the musing of many a mom.
I don’t think the problem is limited to homeschoolers, I think every parent wonders that.
I occasionally give “beginning to homeschool” talks and I start by describing myself as NOT an expert. I won’t be an expert until my children are out the door, and doing something that is self-satisfying to them.