I know. Somehow, I’ve always known.

Luke Skywalker: “If I don’t make it back, you’re the only hope for the Alliance.”
Princess Leia:      ”Luke, don’t talk that way. You have a power I don’t understand and could never have.”
Luke Skywalker: “You’re wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time you’ll learn to use it as I have. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And… my sister has it. Yes. It’s you, Leia.”
Princess Leia:      ”I know. Somehow, I’ve always known.”
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

It’s Really Happening

Hopefully all your writer friend’s efforts will eventually come to fruition. Seventy-five thousand words or more will get laid down. A literary agent will love it; a publisher will buy it. Revision after revision and edit after edit will be made. Author blurbs will be received, fawned over and prominently displayed for maximum exposure. The title will be agreed upon and the cover art will be set. Everything is ready to go. WARNING, avertissement, precaución and Achtung Baby: this process may run through several times before the final, final product hits the shelves. But, with determination, talent and a strong bit of luck, at some point the prints will run. Months and years of waiting will come to an end and your writer friend’s book will be here, offered up to the world. Now the real fun, a sometimes going-to-meet-the-parents kind of fun, is about to begin.

Immediately after receiving a publication date, your writer is going to want to set up a book launch party. This is his first serious moment in the sun, one of his first steps out into the real world as a bona fide writer, his Sally Fields “you like me; you really like me” moment. It’s also a prime opportunity for your writer friend to completely flip out. There are so many things to consider, worry over, daydream about, ruminate upon and all but bleed internally regarding, that you will have no fear of loneliness or boredom for the foreseeable future.

He’s going to fret over the date and time. It cannot be too close to the publication date in case the stores don’t have copies yet or if there’s a delay in shipping but not so late that he’s missed the “golden period” of a book’s newness. He will try to avoid the opening night of anything and everything and will, therefore, spend hours online trying to find the events calendar for every professional sporting event, social shindig and cultural happening within two months of the publication date. He will have the joy of debating with everyone within earshot about the merits of holding it on a weeknight versus on the weekend and during the day versus at night.

He’s going to fuss about the weather. Depending on his location, he’ll have the luxury of worrying about the effect that hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, drought, ice storms, wildfires, flash floods, hail, thunderstorms and 100 year rains may have on the event’s turnout. Further, depending on the location, he may also have the joy of considering the natural disasters of earthquakes, landslides, avalanches and plagues of locusts descending to throw a real wrench in the works.

He’ll wrangle with himself, you, and the mailman about the venue. Should he have it at the lovely local bookstore that he’s haunted over the years? That second home that has encouraged his writing, supported his writing, and (conveniently enough) sold him boxes of books over the years to help him improve and expand his writing. Will it be large enough to accommodate the hordes that are most certainly going to be begging for an invite? Will it appear too crowded and turn people off after just a few minutes? How about holding it at the large, national bookseller near the mall? Is he more likely to pull in a large, deep pocketed crowd there? Conversely, will it be too large and leave him, you, a guy that wandered in off the street and the small but steady stream of people who have come to celebrate looking like waifs in a storm? After about twenty-two days of such back and forth confab, you may need to begin leaving your telephone off the hook from the hours of 5 a.m. to 12 midnight.

In the end, he’ll get seriously agitated about the guest list. Including the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker, he’s going to debate with himself (and really that means with you) about whether or not to invite everyone that he’s ever met. Your role here is easy, “Invite those who have supported you, made your writing process go more smoothly and that you love deeply.” Everyone else that he’s ever met, and everyone he is about to meet can, and should, be invited to the upcoming book signings.

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