There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

[Title Crawl]
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
War. The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere. …
Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith

Editors

Editors are not actually out to kill your friend or drive her insane. It will only seem that way. First, it will start small. In putting together the book deal, as the literary agent is finalizing the advance and royalty details, the editor will innocently ask, “How attached is the writer to the book’s title?” Not wanting to bring the process to a screaming halt (the agent’s commission being dependant on keeping the publisher happy and deep-pocketed), the agent will say something along the lines of, “The writer is certainly open to a few changes in the book.”

Later that day, your writer will mention that the publishing house wants to change the title of the book. What do they have in mind? “Well,” your writer says with nary a twitch, “they’re going to get back to me with some ideas.” This is the point where you should start stock-piling Valium and Friandises chocolates directly from the source in Maastricht. The editor will now begin the process of ignoring your writer for days, weeks, even months at a time. Eventually, several titles will be tossed around with everyone from your writer, to her agent, to the editor and the people down in maintenance getting a say. Everyone will have an opinion, nothing will be decided and your writer will move into full-tilt spasms.

To get through this time, you must understand that editors and the publishing houses that they work for do not actually care about your writer’s idea of a reasonable timeline. They can and will put off sending out final edits for your writer to proof for several months, only to FedEx a copy on Friday afternoon with a sticky note demanding that they be back on the editor’s desk no later than 3 p.m. the next Monday. And your writer will do it. She will cancel your annual ski trip to Banff. She will send her visiting parents out on the town by themselves. She will pack the kids off to a friend’s house for the weekend. In short, she will cloister herself in the front hall closet with a red pen and a flashlight if need be to get the job done. As the writer’s friend, your job will be to ski happily without her, to treat her parents to dinner and a movie, or beg for the right to entertain her children for the weekend.

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