“How woood!” – Jar Jar Binks, Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace
You know it’s bad when I use a Jar Jar Binks quote.
Dad Windu had his wallet and keys stolen last night so after closing down all of our credit cards, his bank card, his cell phone, his office entry card, and etc. last night and beginning to rebuild his financial and legal life this morning – we went to the local hardware store this afternoon to have our locks re-keyed. You know, because some a**hole, scuzz-bucket thief has our home address and the keys to open it up wide in his hot little hands.
A little back story: We’ve been remodeling our house, slowly but surely, for the decade that we’ve lived here. The exterior doors are some of the things we’ve replaced. Getting new doors, we also got new locks since the old ones were nasty-looking, cheap quality, and falling apart to boot. The locks we picked out are commercial grade and bought at Home Depot – KwikSet brand with SmartKey technology (so you can match the lock to any other KwikSet lock you have on your house – so long as you have the current key).
We explained the situation to the owner of the local hardware store, offered to leave our name and telephone number (he declined to take it down), and left the locks to be re-worked. When we returned an hour later to pick up the locks, the owner of the store accused my husband and me – rudely, frequently, and to our faces – of “obviously doing something illegal” because the locks we chose were “too good” to have on a house. That’s right, people. Apparently home owners are only allowed to buy standard locks for their houses. Anything else means that you’re up to no good – something along the lines of running a bordello, opium den, or printing un-official NCAA merchandise in your basement or third bedroom.
He greeted us with this warm welcome. “You’ve got some explaining to do.” The he took us down into the basement, where the lock was all torn to shit and spread out across his desk. He asked about what kind of doors we have on our house. (Insulated fiberglass.) Where we bought our lock. (Home Depot.) He said, “Only someone with something to hide would have this good of a lock on their house.” Hello. It’s $40 at The Home Depot. And ”This is something the government would use.” Um, no. It’s not. And, for the record, the government doesn’t pay as little as $40 for a bottle of aspirin. So the big question he kept asking, “Why would you need such a strong lock?” How about: I have a child that I’ve grown rather fond of, one that I’d like to keep safe and sound. OR I’m the proud owner of a VAGINA and am sometimes home alone over-night when Dad Windu is away on business. OR Remember, there was a rash of break-ins last summer? For an extra $20, why wouldn’t I pick a high quality lock?
Dad Windu just kept answering his questions, looking at him like he didn’t understand what the guy was trying to say. I finally blurted out, “He thinks we’re doing something illegal.” Without even a pause, he answered, “Yes, I do.” Well, that put me over the edge.
In the end, we got new (commercial quality) locks from the Home Depot. thank.you.very.much. I will never shop there again. I am absolutely disgusted with the owner’s attitude, behavior and accusation. I’m all for shopping local; but I’ll be picking up my furnace filters, light bulbs, smoke detectors, and etc. at the next closest locally, owned hardware store.
Oh, and this place has had Dad Windu’s mini-sledge hammer (in for a handle replacement) for over two years now. “No, we haven’t gotten to that yet,” is what I hear every time I’ve inquired about it. How’s that for service?
****Here’s the nefarious deadbolt and keyed doorknob set. Oooo, aren’t we scary. Since we also have the matching, decorative keyed handle-set for the front door (freakishly similar to this one), we’re obviously up to no good.
WOW. I can’t blame you at all.
First off, you’re dealing with the concerns about having Dad Windu’s wallet and keys stolen, and all that headache (I sympathize – my dad was mugged on the street this year and I was SO PISSED – I wanted to hunt the offending mofo down and beat him within an inch of his life).
Then you’re trying to get everything sorted financially and legally, and this a$$hole wants to QUESTION you about your nefarious intentions with those locks? Oh my gosh, I would have gone off.
Good for you taking your business elsewhere. I hope you let people know what a jerk this guy is, so they can take their good-lock-purchasing business to other stores.
Oh good grief.
What a stupid jerk!!
And I’m with Wendy, I’d go off, too. Loudly. With profanity. Does this idiot not know what sort of scumbags are out there breaking and entering???
Sheesh!!
And I’m so sorry about the wallet and keys, too. What a terrible pain in the butt.
Eric stopped at a grocery store in Washington yesterday and saw a lady crying at the customer service desk. Someone had come and lifted her wallet right out of her purse.
Not safe anywhere. Home should be very safe… big locks and whatever else a person can use to help them feel safe.
Oh my!!! Well I’d just like to say that if I had guys like him in my neighbourhood, I’d be looking for $80 locks. I think someone needs to
1. turn down his meds
2. disable his internet connection so he can’t read conspiracy theories anymore
3. get him out for a bit and experience real life
4. and then maybe, just maybe he needs to do a course on customer service
That is a local business that should go out of business! He would crap himself if he saw our (old) lock – biometric. That’s right dude. To get into my house, you had to have your fingerprint scanned. And nothing illegal was going on, DH just thought it was cool. It drove me crazy because everytime the sun shone on it, it beeped. That’s a lot in SoCA.
Anyway, I’m sorry about the wallet and keys. That sucks. Good luck getting everything straightened out.
I would seriously consider sending him a letter outlining the incident and explaining that you’re reporting him to the Better Business Bureau, and cc the A.H. Business Association.
That is insane. Simply criminal to want things safe right?
I’m sorry, I guess I missed the day Congress passed the law that said you couldn’t have decent locks on your stuff. Did Dad Windu gets his mini-sledge hammer back? He should question the store owner to find out if he is doing something illegal with it.
Geesh, I hate people.
Sorry to hear about the wallet. I’ve had my purse stolen twice and it was no picnic trying to remember everything that was in it. Somethings I didn’t realize were gone for months. I try to carry only the bare minimum around now.
Mr. Hardware man makes me wonder what kind of locks he has on his own house? Odd for him to appear so angry that your house was so well protected.
Um…I hate to do this via blog comment…but…um…I’ve got the money now. So…um…do you think you could get me the…um…”stuff” from the basement that you promised??? I mean, you promised, and I really need it. Like REALLY need it, man. Ok. So I guess that’s it. You’ve got my beeper number, right??
LMAO
Oh that would make me sooooo mad. Rat him out to the local paper.
“Anything else means that you’re up to no good – something along the lines of running a bordello, opium den, or printing un-official NCAA merchandise in your basement or third bedroom.”
– or homeschooling.
At least, that’s what ran through my head when reading this.
Oh, BLAH. What a terrible experience. I’d report him to the BBB if it were me. Hang in there.
Jeeze Louise! I can’t believe what a creep that guy was. He’s the poster child for why people shop at big box non-personal stores. Just fix my stuff and get out of my business, already!
He’s so lucky you’re not me. That is just the kind of incident that would have sent me all ghetto-black-girl on him. It’s not pretty, but highly effective at getting people to see things my way (or at least to pretend to see them my way until I’m ou of earshot, LOL.)
Sorry about the wallet. What a complete and total drag, and that hardware store guy was a big fat booger cherry on top. Dang!
OMG! You’re going to be in TX? How close? How much fun!
Northern TX: Guadalupe Mts, Abilene, and DFW.
Well, its true the government pays WELL over $40 for a bottle of tylenol…
Now about that illegal activity going on in the basement????
What a JERK!
I hope you all are having a gret time! Stop in OKC and say hi to my dad for me..