Jocasta Nu: “No co-ordinates? It sounds like the kind of directions you’d get from a street tout… some old miner or Furbog trader.”
Obi-Wan: “All three actually.”
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
In the mood to be my confidant? No? Too bad, you’ve already been sucked in just by reading this.
Frankly, I realized last night that I am experiencing a crisis of purpose. I tried to explain it to Dad Windu but he just didn’t get what I was saying. He just wanted to fix it. That whole Mars vs. Venus thing.
In a nutshell, I just don’t know what to do with myself – in any area – right now: homeschooling/unschooling planning/activities, personal activities & hobbies, and some greater “meaning” (whatever that means). I feel somewhat like someone hit me on the head and dropped me in the middle of Prague – a nice place and all I’m sure – but I don’t know which way to turn, which road to follow, where to begin.
It’s not depression, because I’m not sad or withdrawn or anything like that; it’s just a lack of direction I think. The things I used to do – dutch, knitting, etc – aren’t what they used to be. Are they things I did out of habit? It’s like the interest stayed in GR. Make any sense? What’s your armchair therapist take on the situation? Have any idea about which road to take? Been here yourself?
Well, first of all, moving really sucks. When we moved here in 1989, leaving behind a great support network of friends, a routine, an all that was familiar, it was really a kick… and not of the good kind. A kick as in my legs out from under me.
Establishing new connections… where you shop for groceries, where you take your kid to the doctor, where’s the nearest craft store… all that takes time. Meeting people you can really connect with isn’t all that difficult, but it takes time to build relationships and some history.
I learned that it takes time to figure out once again who you are and what’s fun and where your path is.
I don’t have advice except to say that at least in my experience, it does get easier and you’ll wake up one day and realize that your spirit has finally caught up with you after the move and you’re all together again.
I agree with Ami – even my short move has left me with some of this as it’s changed my transportation dynamic.
DW may feel less of it because the steady routine of work gives a quicker in with the people there than the revolving contacts of classes and homeschool groups.
Ditto what the first two ladies have said. Whenever there is an upheaval in your life, no matter how large or small, it really can throw the psyche for a loop. Give yourself a little time and grace, you’re expecting perfection way too soon.
Right now, I’m banging my head against the proverbial brick wall. This is usually the time of year when I pick out curriculum, decorate the classroom in the theme of our new school year, etc . . . and now I have nothing. Goring online to sign up Baby Boy for his fall classes just doesn’t have the same thrill, you know. *SIGH*
Moms are simply asked to be too much. Joyful and resourceful at every turn. Ha! Give yourself a break.
I’m SO not going to be helpful here because I haven’t moved in 11 years and even then, it was just down the street!!
But even WITHOUT moving I get that “wistful” feeling more and more. I keep thinking it is a mid-life thing, because goodness knows I am there. So I have a feeling that if free to do so, I would BECOME that “Eat, Pray, Love” woman (I am actually scared to watch the movie for fear it will set off some weird kind of inspiration). All I can do is raise my glass to you and cheer our mutual directionlessness. 
Thank you everyone. Sometimes I just need to hear that it’s OK to not have a plan and that it’ll all work out in the end.
Ami: I did leave a great support system behind, and I guess I’m feeling the wind knock me about more than I’m used to.
Karen: DW hasn’t found any “friends” in town yet, but he does have people other than PL and me to talk to on a daily basis – people to have lunch with and (dare I say it) socialize with on more than a store-keeper to shopper basis.
Mom #1: And just how, exactly, did you know that I tend toward perfectionism? I will take your advise and give myself a break. I need one.
Topsy: A mid-life crisis? Already? Me? Yeah, I think you’re right about that. Maybe we can meet mid-way – southern IL maybe – and see E-P-L together. There’s strength in numbers, right? I, likewise, hoist my glass and cheer our mutual directionlessness.
Think of it as an excuse to explore. You have to try new things to discover what you might add to your life. Sewing? Rock climbing, swimming, learning Egyptian history, writing a book on alternate types of homeschooling or maybe books for kids or a murder mystery (I happen to know for a fact you write like the wind) Check books out of the library that you wouldn’t normally.
miss you
Yeah, all of the above. I don’t have much else to add, except to say that I’m thinking of you, and have complete confidence that you’ll rediscover yourself one of these days. Give yourself the gift of not worrying about it in the meantime (not that you’re a worrier, mind you. That would be… me.)
“DW hasn’t found any “friends” in town yet, but he does have people other than PL and me to talk to on a daily basis – people to have lunch with and (dare I say it) socialize with on more than a store-keeper to shopper basis.”
Yes – it was that routine with consistent people I was thinking about. They may not be friends, but even acquaintances with a routine makes things feel settled faster.
It sounds like the way I feel after going all out on a project. For a while, you’re so busy putting it together that there’s no time to think. Afterward, you’re so exhausted, mentally and physically, that it’s hard to be excited about anything. For me, it helps to just wallow for a bit. Read trashy novels, watch mindless TV, whatever, until the creative impulses take over again.