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Padme Amidala: “I don’t need more security, I need answers. I want to know who is trying to kill me.”
Obi-Wan Kenobi: “We’re here to protect you Senator, not to start an investigation.”
Anakin Skywalker: “We will find out who is trying to kill you, Padme. I promise you.”
Obi-Wan: “We will not exceed our mandate, my young Padawan learner.”
Anakin: “I meant in the interest of protecting her, Master, of course.”
Obi-Wan: “We are not going through this exercise again, Anakin. And you will pay attention to my lead.”
Anakin: “Why?”
Obi-Wan: “What??!!”
Anakin: “Why else do you think we were assigned to her, if not to find the killer? Protection is a job for local security… not Jedi. It’s overkill, Master. Investigation is implied in our mandate.”
Obi-Wan: “We will do as the Council has instructed,… and you will learn your place, young one.”
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
I have been saying those words over
and over
and over
inside my head thse last couple of days because Padawan Learner has made a very different choice than I would have made way back when for what is, without being over-simplistic about it, a potentially pivotable point in his life. I look back and think about those few times in my life when I made (or chose not to make) a decision that had an impact on the direction of the rest of my life. This feels, and very probably is, one of those moments in our young man’s life.
Yup. Very different. It has re-emphasized how different we are as people. How easy it is to get emotionally wrapped up in your own image of someone else and someone else’s future. Not bad, I should state that right off, but very different. I know I’ll look back in 15 years and most likely not even think about this single decision, but that is shallow reassurance right now.
They don’t tell you in the parenting books how hard it is to watch your kids make big decisions, to not step in and force a direction (the “right” direction as you see it), to be encouraging, and honest, and respectful. How not to care – for lack of a better word – so much, while still loving with all your heart.
Obi-Wan: “Captain Typho has more than enough men downstairs. No assassin will try that way. Any activity up here?”
Anakin: “Quiet as a tomb. I don’t like just waiting here for something to happen to her.”
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
Please forgive the crazy delay. I popped in today and noticed that my last post was on July 4th. A month and a half. Geez.
So, you see here’s the thing. I got a job. A full-time job. A really full-time, on my feet all day long on a concrete floor job. A this was supposed to be a part-time, up-to-20 hours a week, filler position job, but after six days spread out over two weeks I was offered the position of store manager on July 8. A full-time, at least 40 hours a week job. Well, holy cow. I said yes, took over on July 9, and it’s been a crazy rollercoaster ever since. Have I mentioned that it’s been way too many years since that kind of non-stop on-the-go activity has been a regular part of my life? I have learned a new level of both exhaustion and sore foot pain.
On the up side, I love this job. Love, love, love it. It’s fun, it’s positive, and it’s close enough to walk or bike to. The women I work with are fun and hardworking (a great combo), the challenges are enough to keep my brain pumping along, and the feedback from my employers and customers regarding the changes I’ve been implementing have been uniformly positive.
Many other things have been happening as well these past couple of weeks.
Padawan Learner turned 16 this summer, is driving around town by himself, started back to school at 5 out of the 8 periods (and is picking up a 6th period geometry class starting on Monday) and has been pleased with his newfound freedom. It’s a little weird, but we’re both enjoying the break from each other 24/7. He’s very 16, and I’m definitely a mom. Clashes have ensued. He’s talked about getting a job and working toward becoming independent sooner rather than later. It could be a good idea, but we’ll see how much effort he puts into meeting that goal. As you know quite well, there’s more to being a grownup than earning an income.
PL went to two different camps this summer, a week long half day parkour camp in Boulder. So PL got to participate in one of his most favorite activities ever AND we got to visit with our nephew who just moved into the area a few months earlier. I think he enjoyed our visit too since he was forced to learn first hand about lots of great restaurants in the area. PL also went to a week long overnight camp (his first experience with that type of program) for trampoline and double mini in Michigan, so Dad Windu and I were able to visit some old friends from different parts of Michigan – including some that we hadn’t been able to see for years.
To round the summer out, our niece married, rather unexpectedly but apparently happily, and we were all able to gather once again as an extended family (minus 3) for a long weekend. But it seems that with joy comes pain, and this weekend was no different – DW’s co-worker was in a motorcycle-car accident on the way home the same day we left for MI and was airlifted to a hospital near us. Thankfully he had on his leathers and a helmet (a rarity in Iowa). Still, he has two broken legs, a broken arm, and bleeding in the brain (now stopped), but he survived the first night (a major event) and is on the mend. He is such a sweetheart and such a fighter. I’ve been able to go sit with him in the mornings while his wife gets their four kids off on two different school busses (two hours apart!) so that he doesn’t have to wake up alone. The good drugs are giving us really fun conversations. It’s so nice seeing his bruises go down day after day, but it’s heartbreaking to see the pain that goes along with all the things that will ultimately make him better – multiple surgeries and their subsequent swelling most of all. Send any extra good thoughts along to JerBear.
So there you have it. Sorry for making you wait for an update.
The Emperor: “Rise my friend.”
Darth Vader: “The Death Star will be completed on schedule.”
The Emperor: “You’ve done well, Lord Vader. And now I sense you wish to continue your search for young Skywalker.”
Darth Vader: “Yes, my Master.”
The Emperor: “Patience, my friend. In time, he will seek you out, and when he does, you must bring him before me. He has grown strong. Only together can we turn him to the Dark Side of the Force.”
Darth Vader: “As you wish.”
The Emperor: “Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.”
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
OK, time to brag a bit.
I just received a letter from the school where Padawan Learner takes his duel-enrollment classes stating that he has been recognized by his Energy and Sustainability instructor for “outstanding accomplishments in the field of study.” PL will be recognized at a student assembly in a few weeks for this honor.
How cool is that?
Dad Windu tells me that he’s afraid my last post might have given some the impression that I am dissatisfied with what PL is becoming, but nothing is farther from the truth. I am quite proud of who Padawan Learner is growing to be; it is simply different from what I assumed he would be (based on my own interests, experiences, prejudices - if we’re being honest - and expectations). Frankly, I assumed he would be a blend of Dad Windu and I, which he most definitely is not.
Padawan Learner, for both his strengths and his weaknesses, is very much his very own person – and someone that I’m proud to call my son.
“Nevertheless, I’m taking Captain Solo and his friends. You can either profit by this or be destroyed. It’s your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my power.” – Luke Skywalker, Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
When Padawan Learner was just a wee little guy, wrapped snugly in his blankets, sleeping calmly and silently through the night (yes, I understand that many of you will now be compelled to hate me for that statement), I assumed that he would be a traditional scholar. A multiple degree-holding academic of the first order. He would love learning for its own sake and almost compulsively read through the local library system. When he was a two year old chipping golf balls in the front yard and chasing down soccer balls in the back, I assumed he would be a traditional scholar who rode into college with both academic and athletic scholarships. When he was a five year old kindergartener, bored by reading lesson because he already knew how to read, I assumed he would be a traditional scholar, sought after athlete, who also was accelerated through multiple grades.
A decade later, my son is not a traditional scholastic academic, is not fighting off athletic recruiters, and is not advanced for his years. He struggles with math (sorry to have shared that with you, kiddo), doesn’t much care for science (although physics is considered interesting enough), and couldn’t really care less about the humanities. Oh, the humanities! He hates to write, which is proof positive that he is Dad Windu’s child. He’s a strong, if not regular reader, given to fits and starts of recreational reading. Oh, and he’s not a stellar athlete either. Definitely athletic, and given to strange and frightening leaps and twists on the trampoline – 9.8 last weekend, thank you very much – but probably not collegiate level. Sound grim to you? I’d be more upset about it, if I didn’t know that he’s a pretty normal kid.
He’s got a serious girlfriend (just shoot me now) who seems nice enough, with enough family baggage to cause an appropriate amount of maternal concern. He knows that teen romances rarely last, but he’s interested in giving it a try. He wants to, maybe, go to college for video game design, but mostly he just wants to play them. He has an absolute passion for parkour that makes my stomach lurch, his hands raw, and his pants ripped. He isn’t very good at keeping track of his schedule or his stuff yet, but is learning that if you don’t pack a lunch for school you get pretty hungry in the afternoon. He likes to roam around the downtown area with his best friend who is probably going to move back to Texas this summer, so he’s scraping to spend time with her because he has already learned that moving away means you probably won’t have much contact after that. He’s learning to enjoy the moment and accepting the “seasonality” of most friendships.
He’s learning that it doesn’t matter what you say you want, if you don’t do anything about it. He’s learning that there’s a limit to what your parents are willing to take when it comes to attitude and behavior. He’s learning that consequences for poor chooses are, by their very nature, often unpleasant and decidedly un-fun. He’s learning that laundry doesn’t care for itself, clear skin doesn’t just happen, showers don’t magically sparkle, and that it’s easier to take care of things than to catch up on things.
He’s learning from others, too. A boy his age has taught him that being in the 98th percentile on a high stakes standardized test isn’t nearly as impressive when you’re also a self-centered jerk 98% of the time. He’s learning that some people have an easier time understanding certain things, but all the “smarts” in the world don’t mean a thing if you can’t be bothered to do the work. Conversely, he’s noticed that fighting for a solid C is better than someone else throwing away an easy A because they couldn’t be bothered to show up for class. He’s learned that some mistakes, especially relationship mistakes, can last a lifetime. He’s seen how long $45,000 in student loans takes to pay off, especially if you never graduate and have to work two jobs just to support yourself and your not-so-sexy debt. He doesn’t enjoy math, but he understands compound interest.
Ultimately, he’s recognizing that “intelligence” goes hand in hand with effort, just like “luck” goes fastest to the best prepared. He’s learning that no one can do the work for you, make you want something enough to fight for it, or set your path before you. These things – he’s learning – must come from within himself. He’s a bright one, that son of mine, and I know he will go just as far as he chooses to go.
Padme: ”Ani? My goodness, you’ve grown.”
Anakin: ”So have you, grown more beautiful… for a senator, I mean.”
Padme: ”Ani, you’ll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine.”
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
Today, Padawan Learner signed up to be a volunteer at our local nature center as part of their Youth Volunteer Group, which is run at the same time as their homeschooling classes for younger children. When I told him about it, he was interested but wanted to know more about what he would be doing. While it would have been easy for me to send out a quick email, I knew that it would mean more for him to find out for himself.
So I drove us out to the nature center after lunch today. Once we got there, he went about asking for the homeschooling program director and getting the information he wanted. It was, well, just so nice seeing him take charge of making this decision. He listened to what she said, asked a few questions, and decided to sign on to volunteer once a month.
I couldn’t be prouder.
“For a mechanic, you seem to do an incessant amount of thinking.” – C-3PO, Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
Padawan Learner wants to be an inventor. Maybe I should say PL is an inventor, because he’s been imagining improvements to just about everything that comes his way since he was old enough to declare something “to be when he grows up”. His inventions/improvements are often fantastic (lovely word, that – multiple meanings), frequently push the laws of physics, and sometimes lead to quite interesting discussions – occasionally heated discussions when he feels that Dad Windu and I are just not getting the point.
Once or twice a year, I hear this refrain, “Why am I learning about (insert annoying topic o’the week here)? I’m going to be an inventor.” My answers usually run along these lines:
- Who cares if my spelling isn’t right? Only the people reading your grant proposal.
- Why do I need to learn calculus? Do you think you’ll ever need to calculate things in motion?
- Do I have to learn the metric system? Only if you want people in the scientific community to take you seriously.
- Is good grammar really a big deal? It is only if you want patent clerks and investors to fully understand your invention.
- What’s the point of learning history? You might find a new solution by exploring an old problem.
One of the best things to help stem this tide has been talking about all the different shapes that ‘inventor’ can take. Is a chemist working on a new cholesterol-lowering drug an inventor? Is a biologist who designs a test for resistance to a new pathogen in trout an inventor? Is a writer an inventor? Where is inventing an important part of success in a person’s job – even if they don’t think of themselves as an ‘inventor’? Did you know that Uncle Owen has invented processes and contraptions to further his research? Does that make him an inventor of sorts? Would a person who creates a new computer language be an inventor, a linguist or ‘merely’ a computer programmer?
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