Things Worth Remembering The three habits that lead to success are: Patience, Application, and Vision.
It is always better to be underestimated.
There are three things that are better than riches: Health, Freedom, and Honor.
Think swiftly, speak softly, act wisely.
All from: The Book of Celtic Wisdom
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“It’s very dangerous, putting them together. I don’t think the boy can handle it. I don’t trust him.” – Mace Windu, Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
Padawan Learner and his loyal neighborhood buddy, Chewbacca, hit the neighborhood garage sales this morning with a vengeance. It took all he had to get through his piano lesson before hitting the streets. They scootered from one house to another picking up other people’s crap undiscovered treasure for pennies on the pound. Put an Abe Lincoln in your pocket and the garage sale world is your oyster.
About once an hour, he and she would come back and show off their treasures before heading back out for rounds 2-4. The highlight of PL’s day was finding a tiki lamp; don’t ask me why. The lowlight was the complete and total lack of broken electronic equipment for dismantling. Seems our neighbors don’t save and then attempt to sell or give away broken items. Oooh, aren’t we hoity-toity.
Isn’t there some kind of unwritten garage sale law that requires all broken motors, yard machines and consumer electronics to be stored in an old cardboard box until the next garage sale date? How’s a boy supposed to learn how stuff works if he can’t take stuff apart?
“Only now, at the end, do you understand…” – The Emperor, Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
Maybe it’s the approaching end of the traditional school year when educators (of all stripes) look back over the days, weeks and months and marvel at all that was learned, while simultaneously wishing for just a little more time for this, that and the other thing. Maybe it’s the arrival of spring, when the svelte, matte green leaves of last year’s lumpy tulip bulbs propel themselves through winter-hardened soil. Increasingly, I see glimmers of the man Padawan Learner is becoming and I am thankful for the days, weeks, months and years we’ve shared, while simultaneously wishing to slow the clock down just ever so slightly. I better understand now how time and affection and trust and a fair bit of freedom go into the making of a man.
Luke: “Master Yoda… is Darth Vader my father?”
Yoda: “Rest I need. Yes. Rest.”
Luke: “Yoda, I must know.”
Yoda: “Your father he is.” [pause] ”Told you, did he?”
Luke: “Yes.”
Yoda: “Unexpected this is. And unfortunate.”
Luke: “Unfortunate that I know the truth?”
Yoda: “No! Unfortunate that you rushed to face him… that incomplete was your training. That… not ready for the burden were you.”
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
Will he ever be ready for the burden? Is anyone ever ready for the burden before he or she is thrust out upon the world at the tender age of 16, 18, 22, 25, 30 or whenever the real burdens of life and survival and staking our own path and claiming our own way arrive at our emotional door? I try to keep my head in the here and now, as a good Jedi should, but sometimes my fears wander off into that dark underbrush of the future and I wonder.
- I wonder if I’m focusing on the right things to help him along his path.
- I wonder if I’m too concerned about things that won’t matter at all.
- I wonder if I’m not concerned enough about the things that will.
- I wonder if he’ll look back on our time together and wish we had done things differently.
- I wonder if he’ll look back and decide that he wouldn’t have had our lives any other way.
- I wonder what he’ll do with the decades before him.
- I wonder who he will decide to share his life with.
- I wonder if I’ll see it coming when he does decide.
The burden, the happy burden, of raising the future generation of Jedi is upon us. I wonder if I’ll ever feel ready.
The Boy and I came to a long overdue agreement this afternoon.
He will now take responsibility for keeping himself under control in public places and when playing with his friends. Up to now, he has been content to have me drop some subtle – and sometimes not too subtle – hints about when he needs to scale it back or quiet down. My hand pressing down toward the ground meant quiet down. My hand sitting heavily on his shoulder meant settle down. Both eyebrows raised in conjunction with a prolonged stare in a public place meant, “Hey, you’re acting like an animal and embarrassing me. Knock it off!”
OK, now you know. I am not a perfectly patient mom. I am also a bit of a control freak. I know. These admissions have certainly caused many of you to gasp in shock. Those of you who know me well have already figured out that this will undoubtedly be harder for me than it will be for him. I think I might start having wine around the house more often…
It was very cute though to hear The Boy say, “I figure if I’m ever going to learn how to really control myself all the time, I better start learning now.” He can be so wise sometimes.
In response to Just Muttering blog’s question titled: schooling: un- or home-
Could/would someone explain to me what the difference is between unschooling and letting a kid do whatever he or she wants? There was a brief report on the news about unschooling the other night, and a friend of mine has been talking about it in relation to her daughter, but I’m confused. I get that both homeschooling and unschooling are focused on keeping a kid’s psyche as clear as possible of [what they perceive as] the mistakes (at minimum) or dangers (most likely) and/or horrors (in some cases) of classroom schooling. And that homeschooling puts students in a non-classroom and less didactic setting. But unschooling seems mainly to want to disband the entire process without putting much in its place – unless I’m misunderstanding – so much so that I wonder where education fits in. I mean, what if a student has absolutely no interest in math or literature? Or refuses to write the essay you request on the scientific principle. Or has no interest in learning the history or geography of anything. Wouldn’t it be really easy for an unschooled person to grow up to be . . . uh, wait, I’m searching for the right word . . . um, I’ve almost got it . . . er . . . aha! . . . uneducated?Seriously, I really am curious, if skeptical, and I want to undertand unschooling better, especially since some smart and good people are so enthusiastic about it.
My response was: Sure, I’ll help you out as best I can. Be forewarned, this is long…
Home-schooling (2 words) is often explained as “doing school-at-home”. Where I live, the parents that go this route are often home-schooling for primarily religious reasons (although this is not the case everywhere) and try to shelter their children from the assorted evils of the world. Here, parents give their children what we usually think of as a typical or traditional education (often directly aligned with public school schedules and standards) through the use of standardized textbooks, workbooks, required readings, weekly tests and annual standardized exams, etc. and Home-Schooler Only classes outside of the home (such as music, art or PE). This ensures that their kids are exposed to situations and people that are not at odds with what the parents deem socially and religiously appropriate for their kids. Think of it this way: Mom is school teacher.
I have heard homeschooling (1 word) explained as “using what works and dumping what doesn’t” to educate kids with a goal roughly similar to a traditional education. The direction and timing is still the parent’s, but it is based on the child’s needs not a rigid schedule. This terminology is generally used here by families that may be religious or secular, but are not necessarily homeschooling for religious reasons. These families may make use of Home Schooler Only classes as desired, but may also use after-school publicly accessible programs or classes if they fit a desire or need. These families also often use alternative curriculum programs such as classical education (e.g., The Well Trained Mind) or a literature-based approach (Five in a Row). Regardless, these families are generally more willing to skip parts of a “program” if it’s deemed unnecessary (he already knows his multiplication facts so why do the worksheets) or accelerate/delay parts based on the child’s readiness. These families may use textbooks or they may not. They may use worksheets for math, but not for spelling or vice versa. They may give tests, but they probably don’t do it very often. Think of it this way: Mom is the learning company’s CEO.
I describe unschooling as child-led learning that is in response to living a real life. This is the practice of letting real life situations (such as shopping, cooking, gardening, volunteering, etc), any and all local resources available (museums, colleges/universities, state parks, hiking trails, nature centers, historical markers/sites, stores, a parent’s/friend’s place of employment, even schools *gasp, shock, horror*) and true passions (dinosaurs, space, trains, Star Wars, Civil War history, etc – and often a rotation of many passions over the years) lead us (both adults and children) to meaningful knowledge. Parents teach by example that learning does not stop with a high school diploma or a university degree. The families that pursue this path run the gamut from deeply religious to wholly atheist, but ultimately they hold a deeply held belief that children have an innate need to learn, understand and be part of the world around them and, therefore, will want to learn about as many topics as they can and participate in as much as they are able. But they certainly won’t follow any one else’s pre-determined schedule while they do it. Individuality, thy name is unschooler. Mom reads Robin Hood to Jake and he expresses an interest in archery. Dad asks mom if she’s interested in volunteering at the food pantry. Isaac tells Ian about a chess club he attends; do you want to come along? Unschooling families may use textbooks but usually not – it all depends on what is most helpful to the learner. They may take outside classes or join a task/topic specific club (pottery class, piano lessons, writer’s club, etc) or they may simply borrow/buy the materials needed to learn the process/skill together or on their own – it all depends on what is most helpful to the learner. Think of it this way: Life is teacher, mom coordinates the essentials.
“But what about math?” That is, easily, the most commonly asked question about unschooling. Try to manage a family’s monthly food budget without learning to use basic arithmetic. It can’t be done, and if a child is allowed – even encouraged – to participate in the budgeting, menu planning and shopping of the family’s groceries, they can’t help but learn to use, and be comfortable in using, basic arithmetic. The same can be said for the family’s overall budget. How much does it really cost to keep the 2nd car each month? How much will that trip to Washington, DC really cost and how much do we have to save each month to pay for it? If we ride or walk places more and use the car 50% less, how much faster can we afford it? OK, what about geometry? Build a shed. Fractions? Divide up an equal amount of M&M’s between yourself and 4 other friends. Decimals? Money, money, money.
There is a myth about unschooling that says parents just leave kids to themselves and kids do only what they figure out what they want to do on their own. WRONG. Unschooling is presenting topics, ideas and opportunities to kids with enthusiasm, but also being able to accept “No thanks,” as an acceptable answer.
Often, what my son wants (really deep down) is just for me to be nearby. And when I can’t slow down enough to just BE THERE by him, that’s when he starts hankering for the TV & the computer. He was playing with his Bionicles yesterday afternoon, which are toys I neither enjoy playing with or understand (there’s a whole history and story line that I don’t get), but he asked me to “hang out” with him as he played so I just picked up pieces and looked at them, found other pieces for him as he made assorted creatures, wiped out the many layers of dust from inside the Bionicle bin and after just a little bit we started to talk about everything and nothing. A book we’re reading, cool places to go on vacation, friends of his, our plans for the next day, why the cats were acting goofy in the other room, etc. Sometimes, if The Boy is really interested in a show or movie that I’m not (no, not Mouse Hunt again!), I’ll knit or read or figure out bills or “whatever” on the couch next to him as he watches, sometimes I’ll dust the furniture in that room, sometimes I use the time to do situps or pushups – perhaps not as often as I should though. Now, I don’t spend all my time moving from room to room with The boy, but sometimes he just really needs me “around”, for no other reason than he just needs me “around” right then. I try not to question it, but just accept his need for that time. If he needed to be alone for a while (and sometimes he does), I wouldn’t make him stay around me because it didn’t make sense to me right then, right?
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