|
|
“Nevertheless, I’m taking Captain Solo and his friends. You can either profit by this or be destroyed. It’s your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my power.” – Luke Skywalker, Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
When Padawan Learner was just a wee little guy, wrapped snugly in his blankets, sleeping calmly and silently through the night (yes, I understand that many of you will now be compelled to hate me for that statement), I assumed that he would be a traditional scholar. A multiple degree-holding academic of the first order. He would love learning for its own sake and almost compulsively read through the local library system. When he was a two year old chipping golf balls in the front yard and chasing down soccer balls in the back, I assumed he would be a traditional scholar who rode into college with both academic and athletic scholarships. When he was a five year old kindergartener, bored by reading lesson because he already knew how to read, I assumed he would be a traditional scholar, sought after athlete, who also was accelerated through multiple grades.
A decade later, my son is not a traditional scholastic academic, is not fighting off athletic recruiters, and is not advanced for his years. He struggles with math (sorry to have shared that with you, kiddo), doesn’t much care for science (although physics is considered interesting enough), and couldn’t really care less about the humanities. Oh, the humanities! He hates to write, which is proof positive that he is Dad Windu’s child. He’s a strong, if not regular reader, given to fits and starts of recreational reading. Oh, and he’s not a stellar athlete either. Definitely athletic, and given to strange and frightening leaps and twists on the trampoline – 9.8 last weekend, thank you very much – but probably not collegiate level. Sound grim to you? I’d be more upset about it, if I didn’t know that he’s a pretty normal kid.
He’s got a serious girlfriend (just shoot me now) who seems nice enough, with enough family baggage to cause an appropriate amount of maternal concern. He knows that teen romances rarely last, but he’s interested in giving it a try. He wants to, maybe, go to college for video game design, but mostly he just wants to play them. He has an absolute passion for parkour that makes my stomach lurch, his hands raw, and his pants ripped. He isn’t very good at keeping track of his schedule or his stuff yet, but is learning that if you don’t pack a lunch for school you get pretty hungry in the afternoon. He likes to roam around the downtown area with his best friend who is probably going to move back to Texas this summer, so he’s scraping to spend time with her because he has already learned that moving away means you probably won’t have much contact after that. He’s learning to enjoy the moment and accepting the “seasonality” of most friendships.
He’s learning that it doesn’t matter what you say you want, if you don’t do anything about it. He’s learning that there’s a limit to what your parents are willing to take when it comes to attitude and behavior. He’s learning that consequences for poor chooses are, by their very nature, often unpleasant and decidedly un-fun. He’s learning that laundry doesn’t care for itself, clear skin doesn’t just happen, showers don’t magically sparkle, and that it’s easier to take care of things than to catch up on things.
He’s learning from others, too. A boy his age has taught him that being in the 98th percentile on a high stakes standardized test isn’t nearly as impressive when you’re also a self-centered jerk 98% of the time. He’s learning that some people have an easier time understanding certain things, but all the “smarts” in the world don’t mean a thing if you can’t be bothered to do the work. Conversely, he’s noticed that fighting for a solid C is better than someone else throwing away an easy A because they couldn’t be bothered to show up for class. He’s learned that some mistakes, especially relationship mistakes, can last a lifetime. He’s seen how long $45,000 in student loans takes to pay off, especially if you never graduate and have to work two jobs just to support yourself and your not-so-sexy debt. He doesn’t enjoy math, but he understands compound interest.
Ultimately, he’s recognizing that “intelligence” goes hand in hand with effort, just like “luck” goes fastest to the best prepared. He’s learning that no one can do the work for you, make you want something enough to fight for it, or set your path before you. These things – he’s learning – must come from within himself. He’s a bright one, that son of mine, and I know he will go just as far as he chooses to go.
Anakin Skywalker: (eyes closed) “Don’t go.”
Padme Amidala: “I don’t want to disturb you.”
Anakin Skywalker: “Your presence is soothing.”
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
We were all a little nervous about Dad Windu getting laid-off and being home all.the.time. Rightfully so, I think.
- Were we going to get on each other’s nerves?
- Would DW start channeling his inner professional and start managing the way I ran the house and our homeschooling?
- Would Padawan Learner get distracted having someone else walking around, talking, and moving in and out of our ‘school’ space during the day?
- Would I begin to chafe at having to share the computer, the kitchen, and the teapot more than a few hours each night?
It has, thankfully, worked out very well this past month and a half. Dad Windu has his own routine going for large parts of the day, and he and I are getting out for a daily walk nearly each afternoon. PL has benefited from having Dad Windu right there for some of the math questions that I would normally have to go look up. I’ve enjoyed having another adult around to talk with during the day. DW helps with the house picking up, meal prep and chauffeuring tasks, freeing me from having to do all the day-to-day boring tasks myself.
In the end, we’re enjoying each other’s company on a day-in, day-out basis, and truth be told, I’m going to be a little sad to see him go away for 9 hours each day once he’s back working someplace.
Yoda: “Yes, run! Yes, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan’s apprentice.”
Luke: “Vader. Is the dark side stronger?”
Yoda: “No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.”
Luke: “But how am I to know the good side from the bad?”
Yoda: “You will know… when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”
Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
I’m feeling that way today. Calm, at peace, passive. I’m doing what I can and letting the rest slide.
Dad Windu is officially unemployed, and that’s ok. We can meet our basic bills – home, utilities, food – on his unemployment benefits and that’s about 3 steps further than many families right now. Chalk one up for common sense, frugal living, and good luck over the years.
DW’s getting some (long overdue) things done around the house. We’re keeping Padawan Learner’s life as normal as possible, with both trampoline class and piano lessons for the time being. We’re surprisingly relaxed about the whole process, one of the side benefits of waiting for this to happen for.months.now, and taking our time enjoying the holiday season, our families and friends. We’re entertaining job postings from all over the U.S. and DW is working his network here at home.
We bought Padawan Learner some new snow boots today, nothing like a winter storm to highlight the need. He got off easy from shoveling snow the last 4 days, “I’d love to help, but I don’t have any boots. Bummer.” How a kid that wears a EEEE width can just walk in and find boots that fit, several pair no less, is beyond me. I think there’s a widespread athletic shoe conspiracy in force every six months when he’s outgrown yet another pair of shoes.
“We will not be hostages to be bartered, Dooku.” – Mace Windu, Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
There are a few things that could make me feel like a hostage around here, if I let them, but overall I think we’re settling in nicely after our trip.
- Laundry was kicked to the floor immediately post-trip and was begging for mercy within hours of being home, if only because I don’t have too many clothes and was in danger of having to wear my jogging gear full-time (shudder) for lack of anything else if I didn’t get to it ASAP upon arrival.
- I still have a shameful amount of trip-related clutter strewn around the house, but it’s getting put away bit by bit. The kitchen isn’t pristine, but it’s usable – which is an improvement from two days ago.
- We began a few mini-lessons again on Saturday, after pretty much dumping our regularly scheduled homeschooling routine after just one attempt en route - just little “meant to do that” stuff that we’d begun and then dropped from the week before – with our normal routine again starting this morning. It went far better than I was anticipating. You know how it is coming back after vacation. Algebra was still Padawan Learner’s least favorite part of the day, but I think it’s beginning to dawn on him that his pre-Algebra dread is playing more havoc on his ability to do the work quickly and easily than the actual math problems assigned. Let’s hope(!) anyway.
- I finished knitting and fulling (or felting, if you prefer) the camera cozy and slippers that I began while traveling. The slippers ended up too big for me by a long shot (a bulky yarn that didn’t tighten down as much as I had expected, even after multiple extra trips through the washing machine). Despite the pink color, PL and DW are having a good time “fighting” over who gets to wear them so at least the wool didn’t go to waste. If one takes them off, I find the other one wearing them within moments. Score one for guys secure in their masculinity. I’m going to try another pair for me again with a more traditional weight wool – in purple this time. We’ll see how the next pair goes. I’ve got a huge cross-stitch piece to get started on, but it’ll have to wait until I have a little more time. Since I only get the urge to do this stuff in the colder months, it’ll very likely still be waiting for me come next fall.
- The cats are settling back into more of a normal reaction to us being home. Bobbie, our Ocicat stray, followed DW around from the minute we got home until yesterday afternoon. She’s very dog-like in her devotion to DW. She wouldn’t even stay at her bowl to eat if he walked out of the room for the first couple of days. She seemed convinced that he was going to disappear long-term again whenever he left the house. Poor thing! Stretch has been extra social these past few days, which is nice. Generally she’s more cat-like in her ability to take or leave us. She also has her full winter coat now, so she’s extra plush to cuddle. Double score.
- PL is glad to be getting back to his trampoline class again this coming week. He’s lost a little of his 6-pack abs in the past couple of weeks and was commenting on feeling less limber than normal. It’s amazing how quickly our bodies lose fitness if we give them half a chance. DW began soccer last night, so let’s all keep our fingers crossed for an injury free season. Yes, you too. Get those fingers crossed now. I need all the help I can get with that one!
- Dad Windu is making his list of things that he wants to do while he is laid-off (in addition to his job search, that is) such as get back to drawing again and learn Spanish. We even found a nice starter program for $5 at the local bookstore yesterday. Should he get bored or run out of ideas, I also have a good-sized list of honey-do activities to keep his days filled productively. What can I say? I’m a giver. :-)
What about you? Got anything that’s holding itself over your head at the moment, just waiting to be done?
Leia: “They’re getting closer.”
Han Solo: ”Oh, yeah? Watch this.” [Han throws a lever, only to have the engine sputter and die.]
Leia: “Watch what?”
Han Solo: ”I think we’re in trouble.”
C-3PO: “If I may say so, sir, I noticed earlier the hyperdrive motivator has been damaged. It’s impossible to go to lightspeed.”
Han Solo: ”We’re in trouble.”
Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
It’s that time of year again. Time to realize that a large portion of our summer’s Big Plans just didn’t fan out.
- I didn’t have a girls-only camping trip – not when your camping buddy’s mom gets her leg amputated the day before you’re supposed to head out.
- We didn’t get the garage painted before September – waiting on replacement parts for our custom cut siding. And for the record, who puts custom cut siding on a frickin garage?
- Padawan Learner didn’t get his science and logic books finished (from last year’s program) – despite being perpetually “almost done”. (He’ll finish them today, under my watchful eye.)
- Dad Windu still doesn’t know the long-term status with his job – he’s been on the one week at a time plan since mid-March.
- I didn’t pick up a single Dutch book all summer long.
- My yard is still full of weeds and the flower beds aren’t cleared out completely either.
- We didn’t make it out to BC or CA to visit friends and family – and it looks unlikely for fall as well.
- We got one, single, minuscule tomato to ripen – thanks to a cold, wet non-summer.
What didn’t you get done?
Anakin: ”You call this a diplomatic solution?”
Padme: ”No, I call it an aggressive negotiation.”
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
Don’t you just love jeans fresh from the drier? They’re like a denim corset, fighting all the jiggles back nice and tight – at least for that first hour.
Padme: ”You’re not all-powerful, Ani.”
Anakin: ”Well, I should be.”
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
Sometimes I walk through the house with my bathrobe flowing out behind me like a super-hero, pretending that I’m not really a homeschooling mom that just set off the smoke alarm making pancakes and with a pile of dishes waiting for me.
|
|
