Admiral Piett: “Shall I hold them?”
Darth Vader: “No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself.”
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
Dear Politician (or Politician’s Foot Soldier, where applicable):
Please go away. Feel free to leave literature wedged in my door handle; I promise that I will read it diligently and consider your argument. Ring the doorbell once or twice, if you must. However, when I do not answer the door, and I’m probably not going to, please take the hint that I have a life outside of your election and move on to the next house. Do not, in any manner, take this as an opportunity to ring the door bell incessantly, bang on my doors (front and side) repeatedly, or peer inside my windows. Just leave the f#cking pamphlet and go.
I assure you that I am very well informed on the issues. I have read your website, looked up your voting record (if applicable) and considered your proposed legislative changes. In short, I have formed an opinion on your fitness for government already. I solemnly swear to not vote based on my friends’ opinions, my neighbors’ yard signs or any of the “Why my opponent will ruin our city, county, state or federal government” radio or television advertisements that are completely flooding the airwaves right now.
In addition, when I do answer the door and listen to your schpeel, please give me the courtesy of listening to my questions and actually.address.my.concerns. Do not simply restate the same 30 second soundbite that you’ve (obviously) perfected and already spouted. It does not make me think better of you.
Thank you for your time and consideration in this manner.
Most sincerely,
Obi-Mom Kenobi
