Help me, Obi-Mom Kenobi! You're my only hope. » family

Why? – What?!?

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:48:06 +0000

Padme Amidala: “I don’t need more security, I need answers. I want to know who is trying to kill me.”
Obi-Wan Kenobi: “We’re here to protect you Senator, not to start an investigation.”
Anakin Skywalker: “We will find out who is trying to kill you, Padme. I promise you.”
Obi-Wan: “We will not exceed our mandate, my young Padawan learner.”
Anakin: “I meant in the interest of protecting her, Master, of course.”
Obi-Wan: “We are not going through this exercise again, Anakin. And you will pay attention to my lead.”
Anakin: “Why?”
Obi-Wan: “What??!!”
Anakin: “Why else do you think we were assigned to her, if not to find the killer? Protection is a job for local security… not Jedi. It’s overkill, Master. Investigation is implied in our mandate.”
Obi-Wan: “We will do as the Council has instructed,… and you will learn your place, young one.”

Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones

I have been saying those words over

and over

inside my head thse last couple of days because Padawan Learner has made a very different choice than I would have made way back when for what is, without being over-simplistic about it, a potentially pivotable point in his life. I look back and think about those few times in my life when I made (or chose not to make) a decision that had an impact on the direction of the rest of my life. This feels, and very probably is, one of those moments in our young man’s life.

Yup. Very different. It has re-emphasized how different we are as people. How easy it is to get emotionally wrapped up in your own image of someone else and someone else’s future. Not bad, I should state that right off, but very different. I know I’ll look back in 15 years and most likely not even think about this single decision, but that is shallow reassurance right now.

They don’t tell you in the parenting books how hard it is to watch your kids make big decisions, to not step in and force a direction (the “right” direction as you see it), to be encouraging, and honest, and respectful. How not to care – for lack of a better word – so much, while still loving with all your heart.

Let go of your hate.

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 20:27:56 +0000

Luke: Search your feelings, Father, you can’t do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.
Darth Vader: It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.
Luke: Then my father is truly dead.
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

So this weekend we didn’t hide eggs for Padawan Learner like we usually do. We didn’t get together with family like we have in the past – that whole distance thing. We didn’t gork out in a sugar-induced coma from dawn to dusk, like could reasonably have been expected. (A bit of chocolate and jelly beans – courtesy of my mother – did make its way into our bellies though.)

Instead, we went to a conference. A really good conference. A conference right here in downtown Des Moines. We went to the American Atheist national conference, and it was great. There were a few protesters, but not many, and it didn’t get nasty. No one was converted, on either side. A few dribbled inside to drill the people sitting at informational booths during the lecture periods, but they leaked away when their arguments failed to impress and no ire was raised.

Speakers of all stripes talked about some specifically religious issues, some legal issues regarding separation of church and state cases, the hidden diversity of atheists and why some people have a harder time “coming out” as an atheist (hint: fear of losing jobs, friends, and family), a science biography for a theoretical physicist, a discussion of “The Family” on C-Street in Washington, D.C. that had Dad Windu shaking when it was over, and much more. It was, perhaps, a bit of an unexpected weekend but, as always, it was nice to meet other like-minded people and spend some time together as a couple. (PL spent much of the weekend hanging out in the audience with a blob of other teens that attended.)

What does the quote up there have to do with it? That’s what atheists are often accused of: “hating” a god, religion, the religious – of being in general hateful. I can’t speak for every atheist, but that isn’t what it is for me or my family. Yes, we are angry at times about things that are done in the name of a deity, for the way that people look down on us for not believing in their or even just “some” higher power, and that we are statistically the most despised and mistrusted group of people in America (who wouldn’t be a little ticked about that?), but really it’s just about us trying – like everyone else – to make sense of this world and our place in it. We believe that life, meaning, purpose, and all the rest can be explained – yes, even best explained – without invoking the role of the supernatural. Hate me for it if you will, but that’s part of who we are.

Let’s hope this hyperdrive works and Watto didn’t get the last laugh.

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 18:03:16 +0000

“Let’s hope this hyperdrive works and Watto didn’t get the last laugh.” – Qui-Gon Jinn, Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

Good news. Great News. My mom found a job – in a very roundabout way – back in Michigan. She’s not going to have to move or lose the house. She’s already working today. What a huge relief – for her, me, my brother & sister, and my guys.

It was one of those friend of a friend of a friend of a friend things. She was one of 70 people who applied within the three days the job was available… and the company never even advertised the position.

Thanks for all the good thoughts and wishes. I owe you all one!

Yeah, I’m responsible these days.

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 20:06:40 +0000

“Yeah, I’m responsible these days. It’s the price you pay for being successful.” – Lando Calrissian, Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back

What do you do when your mother calls to announce that she still has no job prospects – not even part-time/temporary/seasonal – after almost two years of looking for work (Yes, it really is that bad in some places.), is about to run out of unemployment benefits in three months, has cranked up some serious credit card debt, refinanced her too-old-to-be-refinancing-it car to pay down other bills, and is about to lose her house to foreclosure? “I want your advice because you’ve always been smart with your money.” Oh, and I should mention that she’s also fiercely independent, bull-headed, and prone to hatching “fabulous plans.” Seriously, what do you do? Because I don’t have a frick’n clue.

I have officially joined the Sandwich Generation.

(Note: I am honored, and happy, to help her. But I’m also a little freaked out.)

It won’t take long to recharge, but this is a lesson I hope you’ve learned, my young Padawan.

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Sun, 09 May 2010 00:02:27 +0000

Obi-Wan: “Sorry, Master, the water fried my weapon.”
Qui-Gon: “You forgot to turn your power off again, didn’t you?”
Obi-Wan nods sheepishly.
Qui-Gon: “It won’t take long to recharge, but this is a lesson I hope you’ve learned, my young Padawan.”
Obi-Wan : “Yes, Master.”

Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

Still alive and still in the middle of the moving drama. Here’s the situation in a nutshell:

House was put up on the market in mid-March
Come to find out, the realtor’s assistant works for the devil, the Galactic Empire or some other evil monstrosity like Sprawl-Mart and did a major f*ck-up on the listing – 4 days late, crappy pictures, pathetic blurb, etc.
Realtor’s assistant apparently does not know how to use voicemail as messages were never returned before 48 hours, if at all.
Realtor did not check assistant’s “work” until after week two of the listing when we had not gotten a single showing.
Realtor assistant has now been fired/’quit’.
Price on house was dropped twice.
House finally sold last Thursday – yeah – but we’re taking a major bath on the price – boo. I’m walking away getting less than I paid for the place 12 years ago – after spending 40K on home improvements these past couple of years. Double boo. I spent most of the 29th in tears.
BUT it is sold and we’re finally going to be together again. Quadruple yeah!
I’ve shed about 1/2 of our furniture and all of our yard/garden/garage items. House and garage look like they’ve been robbed. Apartment will still look like a furniture store exploded inside it. It’s all about perspective.
We’re hoping to close by the end of the month.
I told Padawan Learner tonight, as we had a Mom’s dinner out, that he has given me the best Mother’s Day present ever in the way he has been handling this topsy-turvy, split household, back and forth to see Dad Windu, emotional roller-coaster of a move.

If all goes well, I’ll be able to write again in complete sentences and whole paragraphs soon.

Exciting is hardly the word I would choose.

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 05:20:16 +0000

“Exciting is hardly the word I would choose.” – C-3PO, Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

We three Jedi have seen our share of pavement lately (and concrete and bridges), and it’s taken a toll on our homeschooling routine. **Take a piece of paper, run it through the keep-your-identity-nice-and-safe chipper/shredder, toss them all up into the air with a forced “Yippee!” (knowing full well that you’re only going to have to pick up all those little bits in about 30 seconds) and you’ll understand what I mean.** I may be going to go out on a limb here, but I think even Padawan Learner is tired of the unexpected days off as we drive from one corner of the state to another and another and another.

One thing I’m learning in this whole Dad Windu lay-off situation is that routine is our friend, our really good friend. PL and I do our usual math, writing and history/science stuff in the living room each morning while Dad Windu goes upstairs to practice Spanish, do some more job search stuff, and keep up with his professional network. In short, he stays out of our way and we stay out of his as we all get down to work. After lunch, we go about our own special projects.

There are so many things up in the air, and some unpleasant realities that we’re probably going to be facing in the months to come, that our routine is becoming a bit of a security blanket for the three of us. Christmas and the scheduled week-long break that followed it were nice, of course, but a bit too distracting at this already wildly distracted period of our lives. Normally PL looks forward to these days stolen away from our day-to-day routine, but on our way home after our Dutch class today he said a little wistfully, “Tomorrow’s just a regular ordinary day, right?” I know I breathed a sigh of relief when I answered, “Yes. Yes, it is.”

You will know… when you are calm, at peace, passive.

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:50:47 +0000

Yoda: “Yes, run! Yes, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan’s apprentice.”
Luke: “Vader. Is the dark side stronger?”
Yoda: “No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.”
Luke: “But how am I to know the good side from the bad?”
Yoda: “You will know… when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”

Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back

I’m feeling that way today. Calm, at peace, passive. I’m doing what I can and letting the rest slide.

Dad Windu is officially unemployed, and that’s ok. We can meet our basic bills – home, utilities, food – on his unemployment benefits and that’s about 3 steps further than many families right now. Chalk one up for common sense, frugal living, and good luck over the years.

DW’s getting some (long overdue) things done around the house. We’re keeping Padawan Learner’s life as normal as possible, with both trampoline class and piano lessons for the time being. We’re surprisingly relaxed about the whole process, one of the side benefits of waiting for this to happen for.months.now, and taking our time enjoying the holiday season, our families and friends. We’re entertaining job postings from all over the U.S. and DW is working his network here at home.

We bought Padawan Learner some new snow boots today, nothing like a winter storm to highlight the need. He got off easy from shoveling snow the last 4 days, “I’d love to help, but I don’t have any boots. Bummer.” How a kid that wears a EEEE width can just walk in and find boots that fit, several pair no less, is beyond me. I think there’s a widespread athletic shoe conspiracy in force every six months when he’s outgrown yet another pair of shoes.

You have taken your first step into a larger world.

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:11:31 +0000

“That’s good. You have taken your first step into a larger world.” ― Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars IV: A New Hope

Padawan Learner would like me to let you know that he has officially opened up his blog The Padawan Learner for public perusal. Please be so kind as to roam over his way and say Hello. Additionally, if your kids might be interested, my little social butterfly would love to have them visit.

The Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict…

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:43:33 +0000

opening title crawl

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The
taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems
is in dispute. Hoping to resolve the matter with a
blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade
Federation has stopped all shipping to the small
planet of Naboo. While the Congress of the Republic
endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the
Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi
Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy,
to settle the conflict…

Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

There is an international art contest setting up in downtown Grand Rapids, already a hotspot for sculpture for the uninitiated, that looks to be mind-boggling in scale. Over 1,200 pieces are scheduled to be up for public review and voting when it officially starts later this month. Dad Windu, Padawan Learner and I headed into GR last weekend to see the hands-on Leonardo da Vinci: Machines in Motion exhibit (very cool) and to catch a sneak preview of some of the sculptures that have already been installed.

There’s a number of pictures involved in this post, so I thought I better give you the option to click through (rather than steal all your bandwidth if you just don’t care about Leonardo and/or sculpture). Click on a picture to see a its full-size image.

Tell them we wish to board at once.

Obi-Mom Kenobi — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:50:57 +0000

Qui-Gon Jinn: “Tell them we wish to board at once.”
Radiant VII captain: [on comlink] “Yes, sir. With all due respect, the ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately.”
Nute Gunray: “Yes, of course. As you know, our blockade is perfectly legal and we’d be happy to receive the ambassadors. Happy to.”
Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

My sister-in-law, Queen Jamillia, must have felt that way when we descended on her house last Thursday. One teenaged boy who never stopped eating, two fatigued adults who had just driven across several large Midwestern states, and enough knitting and cross-stitch paraphernalia for an entire legion of visitors.

Dad Windu got several days of uninterrupted relaxing. The weather cooperated nicely, hitting the high 80s, so we spent several hours at the local pool before heading home for grilled steaks and birthday ice cream cones. The backyard and playgrounds were put to good use. My niece, Dormé, got to snuggle up with Dad Windu as much as she liked (her dad is spending the year in a combat zone). My mad knitting skills resulted in Padawan Learner getting a very manly iTouch cozie and my nieces Dormé and Versé got cupcakes and a washcloth/towel set for their play kitchen.

Best of all, Queen Jamillia got to sleep-in past 6 am for two whole days in a row. Talk about luxury!